Today I was at school dropping off my youngest when I saw a lady crying because she had forgotten to bring something for her child to take on a trip. There were other girlies comforting her. So of course I was eavesdropping, because I can’t help myself, and went up to her to say ‘don’t worry about it, I forget everything!! I even dropped off my kids to school the day before they were meant to start…… twice!!!’ (true story).
It made me think about how hard us parents are on ourselves. The number of times I have rung up my mother in law in tears about what a bad parent I was and how I would be solely responsible for ruining their lives is countless. She in her infinite wisdom always tells me ‘Honey you are doing fine’. Aah how comforting those words are. One time I called her up crying and she said ‘honey, drag them up, we all did’ That has been the best ever advice given to human. I thought well if she and others of her kind have ‘dragged’ up their kids then I was doing just fine after all.
I was reading a wonderful post by the excellent Girl like the sea on Instagram talking about how she felt like her day was an ‘epic fail’ Firstly the girl deserves a medal! She homes schools three kids, one being a toddler and still finds the time to make the most divine bits and pieces. I love reading her posts, she is so honest. She was waxing lyrical about the chaos that she see’s as her life. Also another new sewing mate, the stitcher and gatherer who has 5, count em 5!!!! kiddlings and is also wonderfully honest about her struggles on instagram. If only we could all be a bit more honest about how we are feeling then we wouldn’t feel like such failures. We might not get as stressed about the house being untidy, or the kids not having a bath for a night, or the fact that we screamed at them again and I must be the worst mother on the planet because no one else does that!
I thought this would be a good time to list a couple of my EPIC parenting fails just to make you all feel a bit better. I am happy to take one for the team.
1. Went into mother in laws house with eldest two and new born. I was flustered and exhausted. Nobody mentioned how crazy three would be! New born was sleeping so put him in the spare bedroom and continued into the lounge room. When we were finished I left and put the keys through the mail box. Oh dear! I had failed to collect said newborn from the spare room. I actually burst out laughing, thinking far out! This is like Home Alone for babies!! What do I do? Do I call the Fire Brigade? Do I smash the door down? Common sense prevailed and I called my mother in law who was around the corner. Thankfully youngest slept through the whole thing.
2. Same kid aged 1 1/2. Left him with my mate Sandesh so I could drop the other two into the bottom playground at their classes. Then I went to get in my car and as I was sitting there I thought to myself, wow, this is great without all of the kids. Sandesh called me just as I was about to take off and said ‘umm are you coming to get youngest?’ EPIC FAIL!! I had totally forgot and was about to drive off! Again youngest was totally oblivious.
3. I have dropped off my kids a day early to school after holidays and this figure would have been higher had I not had very brilliant friends reminding me.
Okay these are just a very small selection, there are loads more but you get the picture. Thankfully they are now 14, 12 and 9. They are healthy, hilarious excellent human beings and although I fail daily I thank God that there are more wins. Oh, and they are alive so on some days that will just have to do.
This parenting lark is really, really hard. Beautiful, wonderful, life changing and I wouldn’t give it up for anything ever but it is really hard. So my point is people that we have to give ourselves a break, we have to remind ourselves that we are doing the very best we can at this moment in time and even if thats a bit crap it’s still the best crap we can manage and thats okay. You know what we do give them, love! And even we are at our worst they still know that they are loved and thats the best gift you can ever give them.
I want to take this opportunity to thank all of you mothers and fathers who care about how you are doing with your little humans you are doing an amazing job whichever way you are doing it.
Love this quote, it say’s it all.
‘All the world is a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed’ By Sean O’Cassey